Glucoholic - Sugar Free Snacks

Archive for May, 2010

Hint Blackberry Flavored Water

Monday, May 31st, 2010
Low Carb Drinks, Sugar Free Drinks

Sugar Free Drinks - Hint Blackberry Flavored WaterWe really hate doing negative reviews, but here comes another one! Hint Blackberry Flavored Water was totally uninspiring. It really baffles us that a new flavored water with horrible flavor hits the market seemingly every day. You would think that simple economics would bring about the end to this trend. A flavored water is pretty bad when you can say “I would rather drink plain old tap water because it tastes much better.” This water tastes like you took a glass of tap water, sprinkled in a few grains of any blackberry flavored powdered candy, and added a few drops of battery acid for flavor. In possibly the biggest blunder ever executed for a review, we actually went back and purchased another flavor thinking we might have just picked a particularly bad one to begin with. No dice.

Another thing that cracked us up about Hint water is that every bottle’s label contains the phrase “Unsweetened Essence Water”. Slipping a little too close to homeopathy quackery for our taste here. It’s false advertising either way – we couldn’t find the essence of any distinguishable flavor in this water. Besides, if The Glucoholic was in to spending money on things that were totally useless, he would certainly order some “Essence of the Ability to Date Salma Hayek” on the Internet before wasting any on Hint flavored water. Here’s a hint – don’t buy this water.

KFC Grilled Double Down

Saturday, May 15th, 2010
Low Carb Foods

Low Carb Foods - KFC Grilled Double DownThe KFC Grilled Double Down. The Glucoholic likes most of his food from the four basic food groups – Beef, Chicken, Pork, and All Other Meats. This “sandwich” has two out of four, which ain’t bad. We ordered the grilled Double Down to avoid the carbs in the breading. We also ordered ours without the special sauce, for two reasons. First, here be hidden carbohydrates in many cases. Second, The Glucoholic just could not bring himself to eat something called “the Colonel’s Sauce.” The sandwich weighed in at about the size we expected, with about the expected amount of grease. As the first bite touches the tongue, you immediately notice the Double Down’s fatal flaw – too much salt. We’re talking way too much salt. We were inspired to produce the following list of Top 5 Things Saltier Than The KFC Double Down:

Top 5 Things Saltier Than The KFC Double Down
1. Pacific Ocean
2. Atlantic Ocean
3. Indian Ocean
4. Southern Ocean
5. Arctic Ocean

Seriously, this sandwich would have been so much better without so much salt. The burning sensation on your tongue for the following four hours was enough to warrant a bad review; but to ruin something as precious as an all meat and cheese sandwich, well that’s enough to guarantee one. Don’t buy this sandwich if you don’t really like salt.