Glucoholic

SoBe Honey Green Tea

Glucoholic — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 22:50:30 +0000

This green tea is a little bit of a change for SoBe. First, they’ve chosen to use plastic for this bottle. It looks like a traditional SoBe glass bottle, but will probably weather a fall to the kitchen floor a little better than its predecessor. Second, this tea is sweetened with sugar alcohol and stevia. We were excited to see what impact this would have on the sweetness of this green tea.

Overall, green tea lovers will probably not like this drink. It’s probably most easily describable as uninspired. There is adequate sweetness, but the green tea flavor and honey are very weak. There doesn’t really appear to be much in the bottle except water. The green tea was certainly more detectable than the honey, but that’s not saying much. We were really disappointed given the pleasant experiences we’ve had with SoBe beverages in the past. We could only recommend this to a person who just does not like green tea and is looking for something not as strong as other green tea drinks on the market.

Hint Blackberry Flavored Water

Glucoholic — Mon, 31 May 2010 18:03:31 +0000

We really hate doing negative reviews, but here comes another one! Hint Blackberry Flavored Water was totally uninspiring. It really baffles us that a new flavored water with horrible flavor hits the market seemingly every day. You would think that simple economics would bring about the end to this trend. A flavored water is pretty bad when you can say “I would rather drink plain old tap water because it tastes much better.” This water tastes like you took a glass of tap water, sprinkled in a few grains of any blackberry flavored powdered candy, and added a few drops of battery acid for flavor. In possibly the biggest blunder ever executed for a review, we actually went back and purchased another flavor thinking we might have just picked a particularly bad one to begin with. No dice.

Another thing that cracked us up about Hint water is that every bottle’s label contains the phrase “Unsweetened Essence Water”. Slipping a little too close to homeopathy quackery for our taste here. It’s false advertising either way - we couldn’t find the essence of any distinguishable flavor in this water. Besides, if The Glucoholic was in to spending money on things that were totally useless, he would certainly order some “Essence of the Ability to Date Salma Hayek” on the Internet before wasting any on Hint flavored water. Here’s a hint - don’t buy this water.

KFC Grilled Double Down

Glucoholic — Sat, 15 May 2010 15:21:19 +0000

The KFC Grilled Double Down. The Glucoholic likes most of his food from the four basic food groups - Beef, Chicken, Pork, and All Other Meats. This “sandwich” has two out of four, which ain’t bad. We ordered the grilled Double Down to avoid the carbs in the breading. We also ordered ours without the special sauce, for two reasons. First, here be hidden carbohydrates in many cases. Second, The Glucoholic just could not bring himself to eat something called “the Colonel’s Sauce.” The sandwich weighed in at about the size we expected, with about the expected amount of grease. As the first bite touches the tongue, you immediately notice the Double Down’s fatal flaw - too much salt. We’re talking way too much salt. We were inspired to produce the following list of Top 5 Things Saltier Than The KFC Double Down:

Top 5 Things Saltier Than The KFC Double Down
1. Pacific Ocean
2. Atlantic Ocean
3. Indian Ocean
4. Southern Ocean
5. Arctic Ocean

Seriously, this sandwich would have been so much better without so much salt. The burning sensation on your tongue for the following four hours was enough to warrant a bad review; but to ruin something as precious as an all meat and cheese sandwich, well that’s enough to guarantee one. Don’t buy this sandwich if you don’t really like salt.

Vidration Lemon Lime Vitamin Water

Glucoholic — Sat, 01 May 2010 03:02:52 +0000

We bet you’re probably thinking “sweet mother of pearl, is The Glucoholic about to go on another flavored water tirade?” Be of good cheer. We’ve finally found a flavored water that makes all the bad experiences with other flavored waters float on down the river. Vidration Lemon Lime Vitamin Water is one of the best flavored waters we’ve ever tested. Let’s start with the packaging. Vidration flavors come in simple bottles which highlight the appealing colors that represent each flavor. The color of the Lemon Lime water is an awesome neon green color that is so sexy that we wish we could paint the official Glucoholic team van* this color. Our only complaint with the packaging is that the ingredients list is very tiny. On the other hand, it’s got no carbs and tastes great. Do we really care what’s in it? OK, we care. The good news is that we like what’s inside as well.

Speaking of taste - Wow! This stuff is great. The Lemon Lime flavor reminds you of those great green colored FlaVorIce pops you buy in liquid form and put in the freezer. The sweetness is perfect, which should not be a surprise since this flavored water is sweetened with sucralose and acesulfame potassium. It’s got 5mg of sodium and zero of everything else you don’t want. Add 100% of the recommended daily intake of Vitamin C and 20% for several B Vitamins, and you’re talking about a pretty healthy, very tasty flavored water. We can’t wait to try the other flavors.

*actual Glucoholic team van does not exist

Talking Rain Twist Wild Strawberry Water

Glucoholic — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:20:02 +0000

Sometimes when we review a product we’re left asking the question “Why?” Talking Rain Twist Wild Strawberry Water had us asking this question over and over again. Question one: why another flavored water? Question two: why put two grams of sugar and nine calories in a flavored water just to end up with a flavored water with almost no flavor? Question three: why can we buy the wild strawberry flavor in stores, but cannot find it on your website? Question four: why did we spend a buck fifty-nine plus tax on nineteen ounces of water? There are no good answers to these questions we fear.

This water was a real disappointment. We noticed that Talking Rain is very proud to be on the organic crazy-train barreling through an affluent neighborhood near you. It is entirely possible that they can be successful at selling expensive, uninspiring waters to those willing to “pay extra” for the organic label. However, we suspect that walking over to your sink and drawing a tall glass of non-organic municipal water will be just as tasty, and just as healthy to boot. Don’t bother with this one.

OhYeah! Chocolate Shake

Glucoholic — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 02:00:47 +0000

Let’s talk marketing before we get to the 32 grams of protein in this chocolate shake. When we saw this nutritional shake in the health food aisle at the local grocery store we shouted “Oh Yeah!” It was the natural thing to do. It was right there on the product. Score one for the marketing department. There was a sense of excitement that could only have been eclipsed by former professional wrestler Randy “The Macho Man” Savage jumping out and yelling “Oh Yeah!” along with us.

We really feel that the fine folks at Integrated Sports Science have missed a major opportunity by not securing the services of Mr. Savage as a spokesperson for OhYeah! Chocolate Shake. For crying out loud, did we mention that this stuff has 32 grams of protein yet?

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Skinny Water Lemonade Passionfruit

Glucoholic — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 01:05:43 +0000

Skinny water? Isn’t that redundant? It could be that we have too many flavored waters on the market. We keep trying them, hoping that something really different will knock our socks off, but it hasn’t happened in a while. It’s water with flavor added. We get it. Each new iteration adds some more vitamins, minerals, extracts, or catchy marketing. This one is no different. We were pretty impressed with all the B Vitamins and potassium. We were not impressed with how the lemonade somehow went missing. We were expecting Skinny Water Lemonade Passionfruit to have some hint of lemonade, but the passionfruit is too strong. If you like passionfruit you are going to love this drink, and if you don’t you are out of luck.

With loads of essential vitamins in every eight ounce serving it’s a shame that this flavored water doesn’t taste better. Here’s hoping some of the other Skinny Water flavors are winners, because adding essential nutrients without adding carbohydrates or calories is a good thing.

Muscle Milk Chocolate Nutritional Shake

Glucoholic — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:52:47 +0000

We’re always looking for great protein shakes. The Glucoholic enjoys one for breakfast almost every morning. We have our favorites, but variety is the spice of life, and we enjoy looking for alternatives to our standbys. Enter Muscle Milk Chocolate Nutritional Shake. This is a fantastic protein shake! There are two things you notice about this shake immediately. First, it’s creamier than your average protein shake. We’re not talking soda shop creamy - it’s a nutrition shake for crying out loud. Second, there’s some serious chocolate flavor in the bottle. The chocolate seems to taste sweeter, which probably explains the 3 grams of sugar in each serving. A complete serving of this low carb chocolate shake leaves you very satisfied and provides lots of protein, vitamins, and minerals. Just ask Chet.

One 14 ounce serving of Muscle Milk Chocolate Nutritional Shake provides 230 calories, 9 grams of fat, 10mg of cholesterol, 350mg of sodium, and 10 grams of digestible carbohydrate. Add to that a total of 25 grams of protein and you’re talking about some serious muscle building. As a bonus, you will also get 25% of the recommended daily intake of 20 important vitamins and minerals. If the carbohydrate and sodium levels were a little lower this would become The Glucoholic’s daily breakfast shake. This product is lactose free, but does contain components derived from milk and soy.

Maple Grove Farms Vermont Sugar Free Syrup

Glucoholic — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:25:32 +0000

Our regular readers are probably beginning to notice that The Glucoholic has a serious addiction to Cracker Barrel. It started some time ago when Cracker Barrel introduced their low carb menu options. It doesn’t hurt that those menu items taste great. Add to that a country store that periodically carries interesting sugar free products, and you’ve got what we like to call a no-brainer spot to grab some grub and look for some low carb goodies.

We recently had the opportunity to sample Maple Grove Farms Vermont Sugar Free Syrup from Cracker Barrel. We found this syrup to have exceptional maple flavor. Some syrups, especially the low carb variety, are lacking in the flavor department. It’s fine to make sure that the sweetness is adequate, but no good breakfast syrup is lacking when it comes to maple flavor. This syrup is light and crisp and gives you the feeling that you woke up to breakfast on a New England farm. If you like breakfast food as much as we do, we encourage you to head to your nearest Cracker Barrel and pick up a bottle.

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Diet Cherry 7UP Antioxidant

Glucoholic — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:48:13 +0000

This week we’re taste testing the new Diet Cherry 7UP Antioxidant. The antioxidant comes in the form of ten percent of the recommended daily intake of Vitamin E. This is another fitness play that unfortunately falls short because Dr. Pepper/Seven Up chose to use aspartame to sweeten this drink. As the first drops hit your tongue you detect the familiar lemon and lime flavors of 7UP, and then the cherry flavor hits you and you’re sure you’re really going to like this drink. Then the aspartame rains on your parade with its favorite weapon - horrible aftertaste. This soft drink would have been so good with Splenda as a sweetener. If you are one of the chosen few that has been able to get used to aspartame aftertaste, then this sugar free drink is a definite buy. For everyone else, be sure to stay tuned for an upcoming review of 7UP products that are sweetened with Splenda.

Nutritionally, Diet Cherry 7Up Antioxidant is not bad. Each eight ounce serving contains only 30mg of sodium. The Vitamin E is a definite plus, but does not provide enough incentive to overlook the aspartame aftertaste.

Federal Trade Commission Endorsement and Testimonial Guidelines Compliance Statement: Dr. Pepper/Seven Up, Inc. has in no way paid for this endorsement. No cash or in-kind payment was received from Dr. Pepper/Seven Up, Inc. by Glucoholic.com.